Still Can't See Nothin' Comin' Pages 262-326

Summary:
In her diary it stated that the night before she died her father has raped her once again. He raped her almost everyday for 3 years. At that time his father, mother and brother had returned home. Enraged with what he had discovered Jim confronted his father about it. His mother got upset and smacks him so he punched her in her face. His father than ran towards him but Jim checked into a violent rage and began beating his father for all the times he had beaten him in the past, and all the time he had hit his sister, and all the time he has raped his sister. The mother than called the cops and Jim left, the first place he headed was to Leslie’s house until morning. When he arrived at Leslie’s house they had relations but Jim was going threw withdrawals and ended up drinking a brand new bottle of cough medicine. Realizing that he would hurt Leslie he left and returned to Philly’s house.

When Jim arrived to the house Jeremy said that they should rob Sunshine’s. Of course Philly and Jim was against the idea but at the end they decided to rob it only if Charlie wasn’t there. March 12, 1992 they walked to Sunshines and seen a guy packing cans of soup and no one else. Jeremy was the first to pull out his gun and he placed it at the man who turned out to be Charlie. Stunned Charlie did not move a mussel and Jeremy was threatening to shot him. Afraid that Jeremy would shoot Charlie, Jim pulled out his gun and aimed it at Jeremy. The two of the began to argue back and forth when Philly entered the store. He meant to hit the roof but something happened and the bullet hit Charlie. Jeremy immediately left with the guns while Philly and Jim stayed back and tried to help Charlie. The thought that kept running threw Jeremy head was that the little boy who loved them and admired them would die because of them and it killed him inside.

Jim left shortly after that unaware that they cops were called and were arriving when he was leaving. They told him to freeze but he immediately began running with the gun still in his hand. The cops had given up chasing him on foot and he began running towards the bridge where his sister had died. He was running by the bridge and twisted his ankle in a ditch. He feels and laid there for he was too tired to get up. The cops finally caught up with him and the ambulance was called placing Jim upon a stretcher. In the hospital Sarah (the nice cop from before) was waiting to have a word with him. She apologized for what happened and knew she could have prevented it. They were going to lock him up before but she wouldn’t let them. She said he wasn’t capable of committing a crime.

The story then flashed forward to August 1992. Before Jim would leave for court he and Leslie had relations for the last time. They knew it would be a long time before they could hug or even kiss so they took advantage. In the morning Jim hugged Billy and he told him how much he loved him and how terrific of a kid he was. As the cops pulled him away no one was crying. At this point in his life Jim had realized why his sister died, and he had realized that he still couldn’t see nothin’ comin’ and he had to forgive himself for the wrong he had done and forgive all the wrong that was done towards him so he can be a man. He finally took responsibility for the life that was giving to him and he left with the cops as gentlemen would with the utmost respect. He had finally become a man.

Quotation:
" Leslie and I weren't crying, though. We were remembering, and hoping ( Marshall 322).

Reflection:

In this quote you can see that Jim grew up. He understood what was going on and accepted it. He was only remembering the good and bad times that had occurred in his live and he was hoping that he may began a new life where he was in control of everything. He was a man now and was determined to make the best out of any situation that was handed to him.

Jim lived a very difficult life and unfortunately there are many storied in the world like his. The only difference is that Jim realized what he was doing with his life was wrong and he decided to change it. He realized that he was lost and he found himself the day he turned himself in. You can relate Jim situation to the situation of Drew Barrymore but she was not physically abused like Jim was. Although Jim made some terrible decisions he can still be looked upon as a role model because he was able to overcome the obstacles in his life and he became a man. When all hope was gone and all determination was relinquished he still realized that he could become something not only for him but for his siblings. I am very proud of Jim!

Still Can't See Nothin' Comin' Pages 196-261

Summary:
Wanting to get high and have relations with girls Jim, Philly and Jeremy came up with the idea to invite three girls over for alcohol and drugs. The girls were already chosen and the liquor was already brought, the only thing that was needed was the drugs. Jim was asking everyone for drugs and the only person on campus who had any was a black drug dealer named Tony. The rumor was that Tony broke kid’s ribs because he was late on the drug payments. Knowing that he didn’t have the money, Jim asked Jeremy if he could negotiate with Tony so that the money could be paid tomorrow. Philly and Jeremy was waiting at Sunshine (Charlie’s store) when Tony arrived, Philly was no where in site. Upset that they didn’t have the money; Tony began to beat up Philly and Jim. Philly then rose and called Tony a Niger which made Tony upset and he placed a gun to Philly’s head. Before he could pull the trigger Jeremy showed up with his gun. Afraid that Jeremy would shoot, Tony dropped his gun and Philly robbed him for all he had. The drugs, money, guns and sneakers he had on. Philly, Jeremy and Jim proceeded to go back to Philly’s house with the guns still in their hands when Charlie walked to the door and seen them. This changed the relationship between Charlie and Philly.

Once the boys arrived at Philly’s house they immediately started drinking and experimenting with the drugs they had stolen. Philly had taken to many drugs at once and was too high to even stand. The girls rung the doorbell and Jim answered. It did not take long before all of them were high. The boys and the girls began having relations at this time. Jim said he felt ashamed that he lost his virginity to a total stranger rather than the love of his life Leslie. In the morning when the girl left, Jim and Jeremy began talking about taking a trip to the ocean. The only problem was that they were broke. Then the idea of robbing someplace popped into their head. Before Jim would rob any bank or convince store he decided to visits his brother. That after noon he broke into his house and immediately went for the bar. Jim does not know why he went into his sister’s room but he did and the first thing that caught his eye was her diary.

Quotation:

" I still can't see nothin' comin "( Marshall 236)

Reflection:

Jeremy was the one who spoke this line after he and Jim had the discussion about going to the ocean. Jeremy had loved Mandy tremendously and when she died he explained that a little bit of him died with her. He said that no matter how much he tried he just ran into bad things and it was because he did not care.

I think that Marshall put this quote as the title because it causes you to think. No matter how much you may try and plan out your life anything can happen in a blink of an eye. Life was going great for Mandy until she had began to be sexually harassed. The love shared between Mandy, Jim, and Billy was unbreakable until Jim began to become and alcoholic. With this quote Marshall is basically saying to live your life to its potential because you never know what crazy thing might happened next. That you can not control what’s going to happen in the future but you can control what is happening in the present.

Still Can't See Nothin' Comin' Pages 131-195

Summary:
Six weeks after the death of his sister, Daniel went into a dolorous stage in which he only left his bed to take a shower, use the restroom and sometimes to eat. His mother allowed him to stay home instead of going to school because she knew that he had a close relationship with his sister and he was truly hurting. Daniel was also getting beat every night by his drunken father. After Mandy’s death he began to drink even more and blamed Daniel for her death. He would walk into his room at anytime of the night and yell at him saying things like “why didn’t you save her?” He also said things like “if you guys were so close, why would you let her die?” Not being able to deal with the abuse, Daniel began to spend the night with Philly and Jeremy. They spent every night getting drunk or high. What Daniel failed to realize was that his little brother Billy was being forced to stay home because of the fear his parents had of losing the only child that is left. Billy was not only mourning about the death of his sister but he was also dealing with feelings of loneliness and abandonment because Daniel had left him.

Leslie and Daniel also broke up. While Daniel was going through his bacchanalian stage, Leslie was going through a rehabilitation stage. She seen how alcohol had affected Mandy so she decided to change and when Daniel told her he was not changing she decided to leave. She told them they could get back together when he changes his way. That situation basically allowed Daniel to run wild. On the day of Billy’s birthday, Daniel attempted to steal a video game from a mall store to give Billy as a gift. He was caught by security and was arrested by a nice cop. He was then realized shortly after and was driven home by this nice cop. By the time he got home it was midnight and Billy was crying his eyes out. Daniel had messed his birthday and Billy realized that he was alone in this world. Daniel reassured Billy that he would never be alone in the world and reassured Billy that he loved him. At that time they realized that they would forever be brothers and they would always be together. Daniel slept in Billy’s room that night.

Daniel and Philly decided to go to school on the days when they felt comfortable enough to go. Philly was a straight A student and Daniel was barely passing but he was in advanced classes. Daniel was really smart and could get straight A’s as well but he did not want to put forth any effort. During school, Philly and Daniel was having a conversation which led them planning to get high later and find girls who would have sex with them. Philly would get the girls and Daniel had to get the drugs. The chapter left off with Daniel asking a kid name Tony for drugs. Tony was a 17 year old sophomore.

Quotation:

"Why didn't you save her, Jimbo? Huh? Didn't you care ( marshall 134)?

Reflection:

Daniel’s father had said this to him one day when he was drunk. I do not understand why the father treats Daniel in this negative manner but has a lot of love for Billy. I do not understand how he can say such hurtful things towards Daniel, knowing the relationship that he had with his sister. I do not understand why the mother allows this type of behavior in her house. I am only a sister but I can not imagine myself saying something so hurtful towards someone that I love. I do not believe that Daniel is a bad kid at all. I think that Daniel is lost and needs someone who can have a good influence on him to come into his life and he would change. I think the reason why Mandy killed herself was because she was lost and felt as if her life would never change. Her depression became too much for her to deal with and unfortunately she gave up. Due to the father’s abusive ways and all the invectives he told his children they will always be traumatized. I do not understand how he cannot be penitent every time he put a hand on his children. My heart also goes out to Billy because he had had to expierence all of this uncanny behavior at the age of 11. There is no way he could have been able to comprehend all of this craziness and still be able to have a childhood and be happy. What his parents did not realize was that their actions not only affected them but it also affected their kids.

Still Can't See Nothin' Comin' Pages 67-130

Summary:

Mandy and Daniel’s relationship was extremely strong because they both comforted each other when the father went into a drinking rage. Unfortonaly, due to the father’s actions both Mandy and Daniel developed a drinking and drug habit as well. The two of them would meet up with Leslie, Philly and Jeremy, Daniels best friends, and they would all hang out drink and smoke a blunt (marijuana rolled up into cigarette form). June 1991, they would all go to the local bridge and smoke marijuana and jump into a 10 foot deep river. At this time Leslie and Daniel were dating and Mandy and Jeremy were showing a little more interest in each other. Daniel was not extremely jealous of this fact but he was hurt because he was used to Mandy showing him all the attention.

That same day everyone went to Daniel’s house to eat, and relax. Leslie left a short time later and Mandy and Jeremy went into Mandy room. Daniel and Philly was in Daniel’s room getting drunk when Billy entered and asked if he may join. Daniel did not want Billy to see him drunk so he told Billy no and to stay out of his room. Billy refused to leave and Daniel accidentally pushed Billy a little too hard forcing him to bump his head on the wall. Billy began crying because he was shocked and hurt that Daniel put his hands on him and flashbacks of the way his father acts when he is intoxicated ran threw Daniel’s head. Mandy had come out of her room at that point and was extremely hurt and disgusted with Daniel because he was beginning to turn into their father. The relationship between Mandy and Daniel was never the same. Mandy then became extremely depressed and began ignoring Daniel.

August 1991, Leslie tried to break the tension between Mandy and Daniel by bringing everyone, including Billy, to the bridge. Everyone was quiet until Mandy spoke speaking about how upset she was with the world and nothing can bring a smile to her face anymore. She then ran off and Leslie followed to comfort her. Daniel began to run after her to apologize and reassure Mandy that nothing has changed but Jeremy held him back. The boys then decided to jump into the river and Billy challenged Daniel to a race. Half way threw the race Daniel hears Leslie scream Mandy’s name and he immediately begins swimming back to her. Once on land he began running towards the screams and Philly tried to hold him back but Daniel fought threw and ran up the hill. Once on top of the hill he saw Mandy’s body laying in Leslie hands. Mandy had thrown herself in front of the train and died from the impact. Unsure of what had happened and hurt by the lost of his sister Daniel became upset and went threw denial. A few days later Mandy was buried but Daniel was upset because she was buried opposed to placed upon a tree like she always wanted. Things would never be the same for any of them after the death of Mandy.

Quotation:

" Hey! That's my sister. You can't have her!"(Marshall 127).

Reflection:

This quote was spoken by Daniel after the paramedics took Mandy away from the scene. At this point Daniel was hurt tremendously and was going threw denial. When I read this quote I felt as if Daniel interpreted the paramedics taking Mandy away as his sister that he loved so dearly, never being able to return to him. I believe that is the reason he was so upset at the fact they were taking her away. I can’t imagine how much guilt he must have felt because he was basically the main reason she moved in front of the train. She did not want to witness her brother become her father.

Being an older sister, I dread the thought of one of my siblings dying in that manner. No matter how upset Mandy was at Daniel she still loved him and I do not understand why she would hurt him the way she did. I could not imagine how hurt and empty Daniel must have felt during this time because I was even crying when I read about her death. Mandy was sort of the other half of Daniel and when she died he just went into self destruction. I think that is what happened to Mandy the day Daniel pushed Billy. She interpreted that situation as the death of innocent Daniel and she could not live with that void inside of her heart.

Still Can't See Nothin' Comin' By Daniel Grey Marshall Pages 1- 65

Summary:

The book begins in Medias revs with Daniel meeting Leslie at the bus station. He immediately recognized her and was astounded by her beauty. To Daniel, Leslie has always been beautiful but over the amount of time he was gone, it seemed as if she had grown even more beautiful. She had long sandy blond hair, with a bang that reached her nose and a pair of beautiful pale blue eyes. Daniel then followed Leslie to the car in which his little twelve year old brother, Jimmy was sitting. Immediately Daniel greets him and a simile appears on both of their faces. Soon after, Jimmy asked Daniel how long he would be in jail if he got caught. This question mad Jimmy feel uncomfortable and he began to swear and raise his voice, but soon after he realized that Jimmy was just a kid and it really wasn’t his fault. An awkward silence appeared and everyone was quiet. Breaking the silent, Leslie asked Daniel what he wanted to do and his response was to go to the lake. Once they arrived at the lake, they were immediately hit with feeling of sorrow because the lake reminded them of Mandy. Mandy was Daniel and Jimmy’s older sister and Leslie’s best friend. The Lake was her favorite place to go.

In a dream, Jimmy reminisces on the time that him and Mandy sledded down Suicide Hill. Suicide Hill was the most dangerous hill in the whole town because it was very steep, as if it was a vertical hill. Jimmy explains how the steepness of the hill made him feel as if he was flying. He would remember that moment for the rest of his life because that was the only moment in his life was he felt free. After the sled ride he and Mandy went to Leslie house because she wanted to meet Daniel. Once Daniel laid eyes upon Leslie he knew she would be the one he would fall in love with.

They were supposed to arrive home for dinner but Leslie and Daniel stayed at Mandy’s house until three in the morning. Figuring their parents were asleep, the two of them snuck into the house through the back in which they were greeted by their mother. Then their father came into the living room, drunk as always, and began beating on Daniel. Used to the pain and beating he received from his father, Daniel spit in his face because he felt as if there was nothing else that man could do to him. There was no type of reaction from the father except shock. Mandy then picked Daniel up and semi- carried him to his room. This was a ruin between the two, whoever was in better condition would carry the other into their room. As Mandy tucked him in and kissed him good night, Daniel realized how much he truly loved his sister. Soon after Mandy tucked him in, Daniel heard Mandy doors open and close and he then heard it open and close about an hour later.

Quotation:

" Me and you, Jim," she deckaed magnificently. "Me and you."

Reflection:

In this quote, Mandy is explaining in her own way that no matter how bad times might get she would always be there for him. Mandy was Daniel older sister and played that part well. Favoritism was shown towards their little brother and most of the time; Daniel and Mandy had to comfort each other. Their mother was not mentally strong and could not really help her children. All she could tell her husband was that the kids had enough.

I can relate to Mandy when it comes to being protective of you younger siblings because I am the same way with my two younger siblings. I have a great amount of respect for Mandy because she was physically abused and still had the ability to laugh and take care of her brothers. The relationship between her and Daniel brought tears to my eyes because I remembered that she had died. I could not imagine my life without either one of my siblings and I felt sympathetic towards Daniel because he had lost the only person whom he loved unconditionally.

When I thought about the scene in which Daniel heard Mandy door open and close twice, I assumed that her father was sexually abusing her. Daniel was also begging to explain the emotional changes that Mandy was going through and I think that she is being sexually harassed by her father. The night of Daniel’s beating, the father was more concerned about who Mandy was with instead of why she came home so late.